Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Feeling Blah and other Tuesday confessions
Today is my Monday. All the other normal people start back to work on Mondays and have their weekends off. No, not me. I work Tuesday through Saturday and feel like I live in a closet. It seems so mundane at times to work on Saturdays when everyone else is home having breakfast with thier family or watching cartoons with the kids, or going to the Farmers or Flea Market. No not me, I sit at this desk waiting tentively for the phone to ring or some warm body to walk through the door. Often times, I wait and wait, with no luck. But, for every beginning this needs to happen, it will all change one day and I will wish it back to the way it was. I guess that is what I am getting at. When will I find happiness in just being? When will my life be the way I think it should or could be? When will I stop wanting what I do not have and live for the moment and in it? Sometimes I think I know the answer, other times I want to scream and yell and kick my feet! I guess what I am trying to say is, yeah, I know I need to trust in the Lord, and be patient and all that good stuff. But sometimes my wiring does not allow it, so when am I ever gonna be happy?????? Maybe I need a wiring change?
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Oh I could say a million things! Where to begin, where to stop. I worked a job Tues through Sat too. It just about KILLED me when I'd leave on Saturday morning, and see everyone else out mowing lawns, or my husband's sleepy head having coffee. Grrrr.....I'd try to say how happy I was on Monday's - out shopping when no one else was out. I had a big awakening about happiness this past year. After losing my job, I struggled alot with my 'purpose', etc - I think you have two choices. Find a new job - if that's not possible - then you have to FIND happiness where you are. Yep. YOU. It can be done. I'm living proof.
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